Living with Purpose with Dr. Keita Joy

Memorable Moments:

• 1:47 It’s a journey. So I think once you understand that, then you can accept all the ebbs and the flows in the little bumpy parts of the ride and accept all of it as, it’s this one big adventure.
• 2:19 I think purpose first comes from the power of self-awareness and I realized that sometimes I was scared to get to know myself. Because I was scared of what I was going to find, cause I’m also going to find traumatic experiences. If I keep digging a little further, I may find some insecurities. But I realized not to shy away from it. Embrace all of it, because it all makes me who I am.
• 2:42 In regards to just purpose, it was really getting reflective, getting still, and then just [asking]: “What are my talents? What are my skills? What do I know? What do I enjoy doing? Who are the people in my life that I want to make the greatest impact in?” And that could be from a global standpoint, national standpoint, and even just right in my own house with my eight and 10 year old, you know? And then once you kind of merge it together, you’re like, okay, well, what’s the best capacity for me to be able to make a difference with everything that I possess for the people that I care about the most, and it sounds really simple, but that’s like a whole life journey.
• 5:04 You need that positive reinforcement in your life because that helps you to have a healthy self concept of yourself. So if you didn’t receive that when you were younger, then you have to be intentional about creating a success circle around you that can help you to see who you are. Sometimes we need help to see who we are.
• 5:24 I think one of the ways that I was able to learn more about myself and accept myself, was to also open myself up to safe people in my life. People that I can trust people who will tell me the truth. I don’t need you to be a yes person either, but people that really truly love me and think the best of me and want the best for me.
• 6:02 Therapy helped me so much to open my eyes to understanding who I am and a lot of the baggage that was a barrier into me seeing exactly just how amazing I am.
• 9:14 [Don’t] be afraid to discontinue some of those relationships that no longer serve you. I had to, in a sense, kind of cut a friend off cause they just didn’t understand where I was going and I had to lay it out for them: “This is the capacity that I have. This is what I can offer. And if this is not enough, then I’m probably not the right person to be in your space.”
• 9:37 You know, so it’s important for you to know what you need so that you’re able to articulate that to any type of relationship that you’re involved in. Not just intimate, but friendships, business relationships. I think clarity is so key in healthy relationships.
• 10:37 Something that I’ve noticed, I think we’re having conversations about mental health, but people still don’t raise their hand and say, “Hey, that’s me. I’m that person.”
• 10:54 I think we kind of have to get out of that teaching mode and be more vulnerable with our experiences and share them with people around us. But I just think that balance, especially for high achieving women, we still act like we’ve got everything figured out. And I think when it comes to the area of depression, I still think that’s something that’s like a big silent killer.
• 12:24 You need a lifeline and it’s okay to grab a lifeline when you need it.
• 17:16 Here you are. You are still here. That is your proof that there is so much more purpose for you to fulfill just that simple truth of being alive. And so I always tell my clients, start from there, start from the beating heart. Your heart is beating. Start from the fact that you have breath in your lungs.
• 17:47 Because the truth of the matter is, I don’t have yesterday. I don’t have tomorrow, but I know I have today.
• 18:06 Oftentimes what I’ve noticed, people have ideas with what they want to do. So a lot of people don’t really have a blank slate. People got ideas. They’re just scared as hell. They’re just scared to step out because they think they don’t have the resources or people are going to tell them no, or they’re not going to believe in them.
• 19:48 So that’s what I’ve learned, to have healthy dialogue. And inside my mind, [I say] “fear I appreciate you. Thank you for warning me, but faith has got this. Courage has got this. Strategy has got this. Creativity has got this. But I appreciate you alerting me and letting me know we’re doing something new.”
• 22:55 I truly believe in getting up early.  I love to pray before I get up in the morning. And I also liked to recite the things that I’m grateful for. So that helps me to set my intentions for the day.
• 25:11 So I think a lot of self-love equals discipline and setting your intentions for the day. It takes discipline to do that.
• 25:37 I don’t want it if it doesn’t bring me fulfillment. There’s no price tag that I can swap for fulfillment. That’s what I want. 

Dear Mind, You Matter is brought to you by NOBU, a new mental health and wellness app. To download NOBU, visit the app store or Google Play. 

This podcast is hosted by Allison Walsh and Dr. Angela Phillips. It is produced by Allison Walsh, Ashley Tate, and Nicole LaNeve. For more information or if you’re interested in being a guest on this podcast, please visit www.therecoveryvillage.com/dearmindyoumatter.