Changing Your Mind with Jenna Kutcher

Memorable Moments:

• 2:38 I feel like we’re in a very unique time right now, where a lot of us are kind of experiencing this push and pull of like, Where do I belong? And I feel like we’re in such a polarizing world in so many different ways. But one of the ways is, especially as ambitious people, ambitious women, we’re feeling like we have to pick between hustle culture; this idea, this notion of like “work harder, do more, just keep going” and the other idea, the other side of the coin is the manifesting, like, you know, just hold this vision and speak it out and it’ll happen. And I feel like I live in this gray area in so many places in my life, but specifically in how can we hold these visions of what we really deeply desire for our life but also, how can we take even micro action towards them?
• 5:03 I think that there are, a lot of times, two different people: there’s the “jump and then the net will appear” and then there’s the people that are like, “I’m gonna weave this net so that I know with security and safety, I can make the leap.”
• 5:44 But for me, sometimes learning what I don’t want or what I will not take or what I don’t feel is in alignment with me is a better indicator of how I can start moving in the right direction.
• 5:57 I felt like I was riding two Clydesdales going in opposite directions because the life I was living did not showcase what I really wanted, what my values were, what I was heading towards. And in order to figure out how to jump from one horse to the other, I had to just take these micro actions and start working towards that vision of something else.
• 7:45 I know so many people who start the degree for the dream job and halfway through the degree, they know that they don’t want that job anymore. But they feel like they’ve already spent two years, why would they waste that? And it’s like, Wait, we’re wasting our future, knowing we’re moving in a direction that’s not going to serve us? And so for me, what’s been so fascinating is working through this process of figuring out who am I? But not just who am I today, but who do I want to become? And I think a lot of times we put so much pressure on like, what sounds impressive, what sounds good, instead of saying what feels good in my life, how do I want to feel?
• 8:58 Our identities aren’t fixed. We are constantly changing and growing and evolving. And I want us to continue becoming.
• 9:13 And a changed mind, I think, is like one of the most beautiful things that we can gift ourselves and in doing that, invite other people to maybe consider different things so that we can continue changing our identities, as we should as students in this thing called Life School and as people who can have their mind changed and become something different.
• 11:18 Being a mom to a toddler, I’ve learned that you can tell a kid a stove is hot, but sometimes they need to touch it to experience it. And I think that a lot of people are that way; they have to experience something to really know that they don’t want to do that again. But I think that the way that we are perpetuating this hustle mentality, it is only going to lead us there. And we have become people who have tuned out those check engine lights so long that something has to suffer for us to wake up to the fact that we’re not doing something that’s sustainable, whether it’s relational or health-related.
• 12:20 One of the things that I think is really important, is to talk about boundaries. I feel like balance was the word for a long time. And I feel like boundaries is the new word.
• 12:53 But boundaries, to me, have been my saving grace. They have been the thing that has kept me in my life…And so, when we think about burnout, what I want to come coupling alongside of that is boundaries, and how can we invite them into our lives, to really preserve our lives so that the lives that we’re living feel good, but that we’re enjoying them that we’re not faking to enjoy them, or that we’re not spending the whole journey in pursuit of the thing, missing the point.
• 17:45 Strategy can get you really far. But when you really start to invest in who you are and who you’re becoming, as a human being, that’s when things really skyrocket.
• 18:08 If you don’t have community in that way, find ways to invite it because it can be a really lonely journey, no matter what you’re doing, when you don’t have somebody who’s in that similar life stage.

Dear Mind, You Matter is brought to you by NOBU, a new mental health and wellness app. To download NOBU, visit the app store or Google Play. 

This podcast is hosted by Allison Walsh and Dr. Angela Phillips. It is produced by Allison Walsh, Ashley Tate, and Nicole LaNeve. For more information or if you’re interested in being a guest on this podcast, please visit www.therecoveryvillage.com/dearmindyoumatter.